Sister Letter :: An Aching Beauty

Dear Sister,

I sit with my own handspan wool in my hands, knitting it into an Elder Tree Shawl. There is frost on the ground and a crocheted afghan on my lap. All is quiet in the monastery. I am the only one up this day after Thanksgiving. We are full to the brim here with oldest daughter and her husband, middle son and his girlfriend from Texas and our dear youngest girl. We have feasted on food and laughter, family, games and a puzzle. Today we might just get a tree and decorate it.

But in these quiet moments I’m filled with something that can only be called joy, though it is dressed not in gaiety, though that is certainly part of it. There is also an ache. A fullness so full to overflowing it verges on overwhelm. I cannot contain it all. All. That is a huge word. For it contains all the memories of Thanksgivings throughout the years, of how life is changing, of where we have been, all that has happened in our little family, and even thoughts of what might be to come. I cannot hold all this. It hurts. And yet it is beautiful.

I have long been familiar with this kind of ache. The ache of longing and Beauty. I feel it when I spin wool and knit. I feel it when I put paint to paper. And at various times thoughout the days, sometimes hitting me with such force I name it “sadness” or “depression”. But really there’s joy behind it all, underneath it all, beribboned throughout it all. Joy has an element of ache…don’t you think so?

I believe this is what Mary was experiencing when she “treasured all these things in her heart.” She could not contain all the memories even of her young life, of her encounter with the Angel, of carrying a baby for 9 months even though she had not been with Joseph or any other man, of enduring the scorn of that, of the travel to Bethlehem, the pain of childbirth and now this…this wonder of wonders…a baby King, the Messiah whom she nursed and swaddled. Indeed I felt this aching beauty after the births of my own dear children who are now sleeping upstairs. The hopes and fears of all the years…yes, so many moments. So many fears. So many hopes.

It occurs to me as I write these words that help is contained in this beloved Christmas carol-

“the hopes and fears of all the years are met in Thee tonight.”

When I struggle to hold it all, to contain the memories, the hopes and fears, I can remember that I have One who can and does hold it all. That wee Christ child, God come to earth, carries all my, all our, hopes and fears. In Him, they are met and knitted into something exquisite, breathtaking.

I’m beginning to hear stirrings upstairs. Not the pitter patter of little feet as in days gone by. But the thumpity thump of teen/adult feet slowly starting to move. I shall sit here for as long as I can knitting my shawl with this achingly beautiful yarn. Joy in it all. Letting Christ hold it all!

Your sister,

Jennifer

******

These letters are written to my knitting and crochet Sisters in the monastery of Life, where we long to live out the call of Christ to love others, live quiet lives and work with our hands. 1 Thessalonians 4:11.

Read here for the very first post & Letter.

Advent Shawl Crochet-A-Long

My favorite time of year is upon us! I love everything from feasting with family to decorating the tree. But my primary goal each year is to make sure I have time to stop and reflect on why we’re even doing all this celebrating. Stitching and sketching are two ways I can unhook (no pun intended;) from the hubbub of holiday activity and simply be. And when I’m able to work a meaningful practice into those creative endeavors, all the better!

So this year, I’m offering an Advent Shawl Crochet-A-Long as well as an Advent Draw. The latter is for those who enjoy sketching in a sketchbook, as I do, and will offer daily prompts from December 1-25th. If you’d like to join in, please check in on jenniferedwards.com in the next week or so to download and print a PDF of the drawing prompts. I’ll be posting my sketches on Instagram, so follow there and consider posting your drawings also!

For the Advent Shawl Crochet-A-Long, here are some particulars you’ll need to know:

  1. You will need 7 colors of a Super Bulky Weight yarn and a size P hook. I have used Lion Brand’s Wool-Ease Thick & Quick. It’s a wonderful yarn with a little bit of wool to add softness and richness to the shawl. I love the vintage looking colors I chose, but you are free to choose any colors you like! Here are the colors I chose:  2 skeins of Fisherman; 1 skein each of Raspberry, Fig, Blossom, Kale, Grass, and Mustard.
  2. Starting Monday November 27th, I will post here on A Knitter’s Grace, the instructions for crocheting the first section of the Shawl. There will also be reflections for you to consider while you are stitching. Check in, each Monday thereafter, for the next week’s crochet instructions. I am also hoping to post short videos demonstrating each stitch pattern you’ll be using. But that depends on our internet service, which is woefully deficient at the moment. The written pattern itself should give you the directions you need to be successful with this crocheted piece. Follow this blog so you can get the weekly blog posts sent directly to your email!
  3. Each section of the shawl has been designed to reflect some aspect of Advent which goes along with what the candles in an Advent Wreath represent. We will be starting a week earlier, crocheting the section prior to that particular Sunday of Advent. This will allow you  to finish the Shawl by Christmas, or even Christmas Eve. This crocheted Shawl works up very quickly! I purposefully chose the big hook/big yarn to offer something that you would not need to feel rushed as you make it. The idea here is to enjoy and savor every stitch.  You will be able to complete each week’s instructions in one or two evenings. We don’t need a mammoth project weighing on us at this time of the year. Just slow, simple stitches, to create something beautiful to wear or give.


Here’s Episode #13 of my Knitterly Arts Podcast introducing the Advent Shawl Crochet-A-Long as well as the Advent Draw. I hope you’ll join me in one or both of these awesome ways to stay connected with the Reason for the Season.

I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving! May your time with family be treasured and all festivities full of joy for you and yours!

Artfully yours,

Jennifer

Knitting from the Hem

knittingthehem

Ofttimes when I close my eyes

this is what I see –

Genevieve knitting with a string

from the Hem of His garment.

The throng of living is pressing

in on all sides.

Yet He has stopped, turned

and bending over

He lifts my face

to gaze into His own.

In this way

I shall knit on.

***

‘Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak.  She said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.”

 Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.’

Matthew 9:20-22

*****

“Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your dis-eases.”

Psalm 103:2-3 (hyphen added)